First of let me start by saying you won't see my changes by just looking at me. Quite frankly some of you may look at me and think well if that isn't the biggest waste of time and effort and you know what... That's ok. I am 46 years old and I am just not going to be of the super model variety or even remotely skinny.. again.. That's ok.
Four and a half years ago I lost myself, part of my heart was buried and I just lost every part of me that made me me. I went from bootcamping and running every day to nothing. Everything in me was just numb. I gradually got back to things, I ran a few more half marathons and actually completed 2 full marathons but there was no spark. A bad decision here a bad decision there landed me in a place I didn't want to be, shoveling food in as fast as I could. I tipped my scale at the highest weight I had ever been.
Then I came home.
Within a week or so of coming back I started working out with Todd one on one. It was not easy as starting over most of the time isn't, but I went. Then I got a partner, she has worked so hard and stuck right by me through cussing and crying and sweating an injury here or there but together we are.
I can remember back to that first week of training and realizing how weak I was, not only physically but emotionally as well, it was truly heartbreaking. The truth was I wasn't there to become some knock out rocking body lifter, I was there just to survive. I don't think I even knew that myself at the time, but he did. I made a promise those first days, that when it got bad, and it did, that I would come to the gym, that on the days that felt like tomorrow wasn't worth it, come train anyway. I have walked through those doors with swollen eyes from tears and just worked. No words needed to be said just hard work put in. So the question of the day.. did it work? Well I am writing this aren't I?
This last year I didn't meet my fitness goals due to some issues that has pretty much knocked running out of my routine, but I never stopped going to training. I am still not super model material because quite frankly I like to enjoy food and wine too much but that is ok because while I am out here enjoying food and wine... I am also enjoying the gift of life that training with Todd has afforded me.
My point in writing this, while we are all in this for a better physical being, yes I am stronger physically than I was, take a moment and think about all of the other positive ways training with the right person can help you. On the fence? Give it a month... you will find the change.
While you may not see a physical change in me... take a second and look a little deeper... you are certain to see a spark.-amh
If you’re like me, you wake up every Monday morning telling yourself this week will be different. I will eat better. I will commit to my workouts. I will work hard to achieve my goals. This week will be different.
I started training with Todd over a year ago and I had this epiphany today. If he has faith in me, why can’t I find it within myself?
Todd can only give me guidance with my workouts and meal plans. The rest is up to me. I also realized today I can’t be in this journey alone. None of us can. We all need support and praise. It’s time to stop the self-sabotage and get honest. It’s time to listen and share.
Today I will begin the process of believing in myself. It won’t be easy. Self doubt will creep in, but when it does, I have an amazing support group I can count on to help me out. I will dig deep. I will be honest with myself. I will work hard. I will stop the self-sabotage.-mb